Monday, 19 November 2012

Entertainment stuff from the week 12-18/11/12

Hi, wombles and womblettes

First up - a correction:
Last week, i said Clue's Series 58 would start in the new year.
I was wrong - it has already started!

Episode 1 of ISIHAClue, on iPlayer

Second - aaargh - the last episode of The Hamster Wheel!
Clue's come just in time :)

Thirdly, due to Hollywood's running out of money, running out of ideas, and running out of lawyers who'll bother to push 'intellectual property' legislation; they've decided to take a leaf out of the pharmaceutical companies' books.
They're resorting to hybrid movies, which incorporate old ideas in such a way that the new films have the same content, but, technically, are new films.
They call this 'evergreening'.

Coming to every naff cinema complex near you, so that you can't miss them, are going to be such composites as:

'A Bedfull Of Foreigners' (1998), 'The Italian Job' (1969), and 'Up Pompeii' (1971)

which will become an HD, comedy version of the 1979 blue movie 'Caligula'
(If you want to know exactly how 'blue' the original Caligula was, put "caligula orgy" into Google. NSFW, obviously!)

'Get Carter' (1971), and 'Ben Hur' (1959) will be made into  'Ben Carter', and 'Get Hur'

'Ben Carter' is a fly-on-the-wall about a 30-something from Chepstow called... Ben Carter. They're hoping it'll be bland enough to cater to a wide market of intellectually-stunted children and adults alike... the same way Twilight does.

'Get Hur' is merely a remake of the formerly-titled 'There's Something About Mary' (1998)

Another amalgamation of old films will put 'Flower Drum Song', 'A Raisin in the sun', 'A day in the death of joe egg', 'Sugar Rush', and 'Butter' together, to make a cake!

'Up Periscope', and 'Sincerely Yours' have been combined to make a film called...

'Sincerely periscope'

Well... what did you expect?

...and finally, an epic TV-to-movie adaptation:

'The Longest Day', 'The Day After Tomorrow', '55 Days At Peking', 'Around The World In 80 Days', and 'The Neverending Story' have been amalgamated into... 

'The Complete 'Lost' series 1-121 Hard-Drive Set'

At the premiere, the entire audience died of starvation, in their seats!

Expect news of more developments in the film industry, in coming weeks.....

------------------------------------------------------ contemporary stuff

'The Hamster Wheel: Outrage In The Media' :-D :-D :-D

'David Attenborough: 60 Years In The Wild'
The first of a three-part documentary, recounting David Attenborough's career in Natural Science broadcasting, and the changes he's seen along the way.

'Another 10 bets you will always win' - Richard Wiseman

'How Predictable Are You?' - also Richard Wiseman

'How suggestible are you?' - Richard Wiseman again. He gets about, this guy!

'Would someone like to explain wtf is happening here?'
And he gets an answer, too...

Live at the Apollo - Series 8, Episode 1 - Nina Conti's ventriloquism act in this show is far-king hill-arious!!
(Nudge: she doesn't do a standard creepy-model-based skit)

------------------------------------------------------ of the weeks

Word Of The Week: Capricious; Given to sudden and unaccountable changes of mood or behaviour.

Fact Of The Week: Beryllium in the surface of rocks can be used to track glaciers through history

Unflattering Nickname Of The Week: 'Gerry-flappers' - the nickname for fans of Geraldine Farrar

NSFW Street-name Of The Week: Gropecunt Lane

Horniest Food Of The Week: Bareback Bacon

Queer-friendly Protozoan Of The Week: Leucocytozoon sp. LBT4

Quote Of The Week: "Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it, depends on what you put into it" - Tom Lehrer

------------------------------------------------------ non-contemporary stuff

Evil, plotting boxes!
and super-cool 3D drawings

Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie join The Amaz!ng Randi to debunk an Astrologer:
Stephen's so feisty, isn't he!

In case you didn't see this, the first time around:
'Skeptoid #300: The Secret of the Gypsy Queen'
A fairy-tale-type story, telling how a lone, skeptical girl, saves her town from the pop pseudoscience of the day - the uberscarf.

A butter pat, cut with: a hot knife, a 2000W Ytterbium fibre LASER, a 55000 PSI waterjet, and sodium hydroxide

Denture shoes... weird!?

This is what a Toys 'R Us, on fire, in North Mackay, Queensland, looks like:

Well, at least it's cheap :D

I don't know whether to drink this coffee or munch it :D

And the parting joke:

A young woman goes to her doctor, afraid of the green spot on the inside of each of her thighs; "they won't wash off, they seem to be getting worse."

The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of the problem, and not to worry, at least until the tests come back.
A few days later, the woman's phone rings. It's the doctor. She immediately begs to know what's causing the spots.

The doctor says; "You're perfectly healthy. There's no problem. But, i'm wondering... does your partner wear ear-rings or studs?"

The woman stammers; "Why, yes, but how did you know?"

He replies; "Tell them they're not real gold."

{Think about it... but not for too long :-P }

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