Monday, 11 February 2013

Entertainment stuff from the week 4-10/2/13

G'd'evening, placental mammals

I have a competition for you to vote in! Well, it's not mine, but i have a competition to nudge you toward:

The Grauniad has a video competition going, and it's your turn to vote for one of the long-listed videos.
There are 12, and each lasts ~2 minutes, so it doesn't take long to watch them through. Here's what i thought about them:

The Artificial Intelligence one's good (although you'll have to turn your sound up)
The Manufacturing Drugs one was so technical it went right over my head (so it'll probably go over yours)
The Homosexuality one was more about Law than homosexuality (disappointing)
The Schrödinger's Cat one was bizarre and frankly a bit rubbish (the example might be famous, but it's still a bugger to explain)
The Mass Religious Conversions one was classic philosophy (a waste of everyone's time - how the hell did it get into the longlist?)
The Filmmakers, Multiculturalism, and Geology ones were good but a bit 'basic' (and thereby bland)
The Sexism, Superconductivity, Evolution, and History Of Film ones were the best, and i think Sally's Evolution one pipped ahead, so she got my vote.

I know - i opted for Biology over Physics - i feel unclean. Out damn spot; out, i say :D

The vote closes on the 26th of Feb, btw.

The news, this week:

Multiple UK supermarkets' beef products have been found to contain horse meat! At first, it was just Tesco, but now others have been found 'at it'. The 'My Lidl Pony' range was a shock. But you should try ASDA's quarter-pandas!

In France, if their horseburgers were found to be 29% beef, they'd be outraged... well, they would if it were British beef.

But in Britain, a Gallop poll has found that 99% of meat-eaters couldn't give a shit... that's probably from constipation - eat some roughage, guys!

"How do you vote?" they said, "Yay or Neigh?"

Apparently though, snacks have been exempted from testing... you know, those little horse d'oeuvres.

Despite all the rigorous equestrioning going on, the horse/beef products are still racing off the shelves. And they're off!....

I can't keep these equine puns up furlong, so i'll have to bale.

Also, in the news, Richard III might or might not have been found under a car park

No-one will ever be able to tell whether it was really him, because they have no knowledge of him to verify the bones with:

- They don't know whether he really had a hunchback or whether it was made up

- They don't have any DNA from the real Richard III (they didn't take samples, back then - the fools!)

- They have no empirical measurements to judge his frame by

- And so on...

The skeleton could be that of any one of thousands of people who lived 500 years ago, because millions of present-day people are directly descended from him.

"We are all related"
"the average marriage in Europe is between sixth cousins, who share a great, great, great, great, great grandparent."

The whole thing is futile. Absolutely futile.

...and now've they've dug him up - whoever he is - they'll be deliberating for centuries about which hole in the ground to shove him back in!

Right; time to rein in the last of the Missed Hits. Dun! Mare i trot again.....
{The last set, if i can give them up!}

A Cracking Night At Tiffany's!

Stepping Stones Through Troubled Water

The Texas Chainsaw Shop

Grape Expectations

The Good, The Bad, And The Bubbly

Three Men And A Baby Sham (starring Brigitte Bordeaux)

The Silence Of The Chops

Dances With Aston Villa

Budgie Lake

A Streetcar Named Vaguely-Interested

Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Peeping Tom (starring Alec Stella-Artois)

The Man With The Golden Delicious

The Texas Coleslaw Massacre

The Silence Of The Yams

Tadpole Dundee

The Chipmunk Of The Baskervilles

Waders Of The Lost Ark

Nightjar On Elm Street

Batman Returns His DVDs

Annie Get Your Gin

------------------------------------------------------ contemporary stuff

Newly uploaded 'Funny Place Names' albums: 1-3, so far

I can't not feel slightly sorry for the French language, when i see cases like this. I know we English speakers steal phrases from it, but this takes the biscuit (french for "twice cooked" btw):
'Waimea Bay : l’Eddie Aikau dans les starting blocks'
'Starting blocks'? Really? French doesn't have words for 'starting blocks'? I don't believe you! Sacre bleu...

'Daniel Radcliffe: A How-To Guide // Bad Teeth'
A guide to being Daniel Radcliffe, by Daniel Radcliffe.
{Could someone please tell me who he is?!? :-P}

I've been catching up on the Aussie Open, now that it's gone, and amongst the uploads on the ATP web-site is this - a point from a Legends match, between Goran Ivanisevic and Pat Cash versus Henri Leconte and Guy Forget.
There's something odd about it, that you might notice ;-)

"I Want a Marriage Like They Had in the Bible" by Roy Zimmerman
If you're wondering why he's singing like that... so am i. It's either an impression of all the harmonies in folk style, or in Gospel.

'The ecological badminton robot (w/ video)'
They're thinking "wow - this is so energy efficient". I'm thinking "wow - that robot plays badminton" :D
And this robot plays table-tennis:

I've been subscribed to this girl for yonks, and finally bothered to listen to a song she's done :D

Dusty shares a story of stupidity... sorry, stupidty... i'm guessing that was deliberte ;-)
'Stories Of Stupidty - Butt Ponies'
{Btw - don't look up 'butt pony' on Urban Dictionary! You might be tempted to play it :-/}

But his is nothing compared to 'Great' Britian's stupidity. Or maybe it's just a kind of multiple personality disorder for States :o)
'Come to Britain, it's GREAT. No... No wait, stay away, it's RUBBISH!!'

'RIP Michael Winner. Here he is torpedoing Littlejohn for mocking lesbians.'
Winner FTWner!!
I knew so little about him when he was alive, and believed the marketing of him as an ogre. But i like him more, now :-)

Y'know politicians are lying bastards with criminal attitudes to public responsibility? Well, in the UK at least, they do seem more criminal than the general population:
"0.13% - percentage of general population now in prison. 0.61% – percentage of members of the last House of Commons now in prison." - Private Eye No. 1289
Private Eye FTW!!
{I love that "squalid little rag" :D }

------------------------------------------------------ of the weeks

Un-quotes Of The Week:

Richard Dawkins: "I've changed my mind - Darwin was wrong"

George W Bush (Jr.): "...nuclear..."

Christopher Hitchens: "I just can't express how much i love Religion..."

The Pope: "I just can't express how much i enjoy sodomising with my atheist homies..."

Dracula: "Don't you just love a nice summer's day"

Word Of The Week: tontine -- a scheme whereby members invest money, and a return is made to the remaining members as each dies. As you'd expect, they provide a good motive for murder.

Fact Of The Week: The feathery tails of birds are anchored into the fused caudal vertebrae known as the pygostyle, or, colloquially, as the Parson's Nose, the Pope's Nose, or The Sultan's Nose

Etymology Of The Week: oboe -- hautbois, meaning "high wood", because it has the highest reigster of woodwind instruments

Quote Of The Week: "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow" - Hebrews 13:8. Pretty much sums up Religion, doesn't it... Jesus Christ! The same yesterday, today, and tomorrow - never getting any better.

Name Of The Week: Dick Swiveller -- a character in The Old Curiosity Shoppe (Charles Dickens)

------------------------------------------------------ non-contemporary stuff

Trees, trees, trees, trees, trees! If you're interested in arborology, then there's this series on Brady Haran's nottinghamscience channel.
Including Limes, the Larch swastika, Harry Potter and the Horticultural Hogwash, and The Tree Of Death!!!

Ever tried a unicumshot before? :-P

A question for evolutionests:

Is it normal for...?

I love these things :)
An illusion, via Richard Wiseman:

'Want to see an impossible chair?'
An awesome, 3D illusion, via Richard Wiseman:

'Birth Control Yoghurt'
A parody of condescending commercials.
{Someone wanders in, at the end. Try to guess who they'll be... no, it's not them}
{(If you knew the answer, it wasn't a guess :-P )}

'Tampon vs. Mooncup rap battle'
You gotta admit, though - mens. cups do have the upper hand, for most people...

'Creepy Japanese Furby Commercial'
{It's not real... i think...}

'Viva vena' - a spoof fashion commercial

How's this for a road? It's in Norway, apparently, if you want to see it for yourself

'Bugger The Bankers THE OFFICIAL VIDEO'
"Bugger the bankers and policians, bugger the bureaucrats too; bugger the buggers who make up the rules, and if you're one of them - bugger you"

How aussie are you? Oh dear... i got 7/20 :-(

And finally, the Feedback excerpts:

Visiting the Natural History Museum in London recently, David Jenkins was interested to learn from a display that Tyrannosaurus rex was as heavy as 200 10-year-old children
13 Oct

YET another manifestation of fruitloopery emerges from Feedback's piling system in the shape of a note from Phillip Whettlock suggesting we take a look at the "Gastric Band Hypnosis" advertised on
Phillip wonders what other surgical procedures might be better left all in the mind. Ear-piercing hypnosis, anyone?
13 Oct

Eleanor Mayfield could not resist telling us about an article in Mayo Clinic Proceedings (vol 86, p 845) reporting a pilot study that used social media to recruit people to a clinical trial. The first author of the paper is Marysia Tweet.
13 Oct
{I thought Feedback had banned nominative determinism!}

[Who] in Bermuda's Department of Airport Operations commissioned the sign in the picture sent us by Andrew Doble? It instructs: "No signs allowed." Congratulations, whoever you are, you've made it into Feedback.
20 Oct

"This is an enviro septic which recycles water into the garden," says a notice that Matthew Wilcox saw in a guest house in Catherine Bay, New South Wales, Australia. "The system clogs very easily," it went on. "Please do not place any matter other than toilet paper into the toilet." Doesn't that rather take away the point?
20 Oct

The English translation on the sign that Martin Hollywood saw on the Great Wall of China says helpfully, but without a map: "You are here"
27 Oct

SEMIOEUGENEIA was the name we gave to excessively polite signs (8 September). We're not sure if the photo Doug Cross sends us is an example of this or of a similar phenomenon, the excessively helpful sign. It shows two adjoining plate-glass doors at an estate agent's premises in Ulverston, Cumbria, UK.
The door on the left has a large sign bearing an arrow pointing right and the words "Please use the other door". The door to the right has a sign with the words "This one is the other door".
We're reminded of the classic announcement by the driver of an underground train in London:
Driver: "Please mind the closing doors."
The doors close... and then reopen.
Driver: "Passengers are reminded that the big red slidey things on the side of the train are called 'the doors'. Let's try it again, shall we? Please stand clear of the doors."
27 Oct

FINALLY, Jonathan Colvin noticed a competition advert on the carton of Just Milk that he was making drinks with. He scanned it and sent it to us. It announces: "Win a cake in a mug* every 5 mins". The small print underneath says "*cake not included".
"This," Jonathan says, "has to be the most bizarre way of giving away mugs I have ever encountered."
27 Oct

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