Date Started: 14/5/12
Date Finished: 19/5/12
Date First Published: 17/2/13
Have you ever wondered why people are so prudish about
bearing their own
genitals, seeing the genitals of other
people, and even seeing the genitals of other animal species, but are perfectly
willing to display the genitals of non-animals on the living-room table, or in their
lapel, or on birthday cards? [1]
Eh?
What the heck are
you going on about now, Tap?
When do we ever do
that?
Well, here’s the thought-jerker for you: flowers are the
genitals of plants
Flowers are the reproductive structures of plant species.
They contain the stamen and stigma - equivalent to the testes and ovaries of
animals – and produce pollen and ova – the equivalent of semen and ova in
animals.
That the outer structures of plant genitals are designed
to attract vectors of gamete distribution is an artefact of plants’ staticity,
and does not negate from their function in the sexual reproduction of plants.
All other elements of the process are directly comparable:
All other elements of the process are directly comparable:
Gametes: pollen and ova – semen and ova
Sexy things: colourful petals and volatile chemicals (sweet smells) - curvy and sticky-outy bits, and seductive behaviour, to attract a mate
Mechanism of sex: bees/beetles/butterflies/birds/ants to carry the pollen – sexual intercourse, where the genitals are rubbed directly against each other [2]
Mechanism of sex: bees/beetles/butterflies/birds/ants to carry the pollen – sexual intercourse, where the genitals are rubbed directly against each other [2]
Gamete fusion: pollen grains fuse with plant ova –
spermatozoa fuse with animal ova
Development: eggs in plants are called seeds – developing
eggs in animals are called embryos/foetuses (contingent on stage of development)
After sufficient development, plant eggs are ejected out
of their host – of animal eggs, only mammals retain theirs internally for
prolonged development
So remember that, next time you’re in someone’s garden,
and you decide to sniff someone’s prize specimens – you’re actually shoving a
plant’s genitals in your face!
And if you ever eat a fruit, remember that you’re
actually eating the inflamed ovary from a pregnant plant! [3]
Why do humans feel disgust in response to animals’ bits
and bobs, but not the plants’ equivalents? It’s purely down to cultural
conditioning. [4]
As a Tapejara, i consider you to be a rather two-faced
species, to treat plants and your fellow animals so differently :-P
Post-jaunt: Some
humans are
allergic to
human semen. Many more,
however, are allergic to the semen of plants – it’s called hay-fever!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] Non-animals on a table; in a lapel; on a card. Well, genitals are the right thing to send, on Single Awareness Day, right?
[2] When farmers deliberately genetically modify their plantstock, they do sometimes rub flower heads together, replicating the animal fashion.
[3] Plus, what we think of as 'fungi' are actually just the fruiting bodies of fungi - most of the body is underground, hence fairy rings and the largest organism known to mankind.
[4] You don't subjugate plants for being bisexual or hermaphroditic, the way you do human animals; and you don't reject humans for being infertile or old and weak, they way you do plants. You grant privileged legal and financial status to humans who engage in supposedly-monogamous heterosexual coupling, whether lavender or not, thereby subjugating all others; but when plants breed with whoever they get, whenever they get them, you don't bat an eyelid! Hypocrisy....
A reference:
[2] When farmers deliberately genetically modify their plantstock, they do sometimes rub flower heads together, replicating the animal fashion.
[3] Plus, what we think of as 'fungi' are actually just the fruiting bodies of fungi - most of the body is underground, hence fairy rings and the largest organism known to mankind.
[4] You don't subjugate plants for being bisexual or hermaphroditic, the way you do human animals; and you don't reject humans for being infertile or old and weak, they way you do plants. You grant privileged legal and financial status to humans who engage in supposedly-monogamous heterosexual coupling, whether lavender or not, thereby subjugating all others; but when plants breed with whoever they get, whenever they get them, you don't bat an eyelid! Hypocrisy....
A reference:
{Just ‘cos i shall}
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