Monday, 7 January 2013

Entertainment stuff from the week 31/12/12 - 6/1/13

Happy new arbitrary solar period, everyone!

I have a Bond-themed selection of film-versions that were, in some cases thankfully, never released.

The reason for this theme, is that i recently disovered that the makers of Skyfall have got together with the makers of Groundhog Day, to produce an advert for a parachute company.

{I still don't know what that Aston Martin DB5 was doing in the back of shot, though....} [mumble grumble mumble]

Here are the films that were never to be:
Rhinestones Are Forever

From Rochdale With Love






Doctor, no!

Tamara Never Dies (this one ended up as the prequel to 'Tamara')

A View To A Krill (a marinological thriller?)

Licence To Keep Krill

The Whirl Is Not Enough... I Want The Iced Buns, The Éclairs, Some Flapjack... Oh, And While I'm Here, I'll Take A Carrot Cake, Too.

Casino Fromage

Quantum Of Sausage

The Mince Pie Who Loved Me

The Man With The Frosted Bun

Chocolate Finger

...aarh, and i'm all hungry again. That's the second time i've veered off into food. Oh well... one more:

Diet Another Day
------------------------------------------------------ contemporary stuff

'The Card' - Richard Wiseman

Gangnam Style becomes the first video to be watched 1 billion times on YouTube!

How do people do this? HOW?
'UK Doctors removed a 9-inch fork from a man’s stomach 10 years after he swallowed it!'

Toilet theme park? Um... yes:

------------------------------------------------------ of the weeks

Drink Of The Week: Le Whisky De Papa {I need it, to wash down all those Bond films}

Word Of The Week: fugly -- short for 'fucking ugly'

Expression Of The Week: "many a mickle makes a muckle" -- lots of small amounts make a large amount

Etymology Of The Week: 'old wives' tales' -- factoids, passed on by 'wifs', meaning 'women'

Ventriloquist Of The Week: Peter Bergen - the USAian equivalent of UKian Peter Brough. Both got famous with their radio ventriloquism (yes - you read right!). When they shifted to TV, both were revealed to be crap at ventriloquism... and yes, i do mean you could see their lips moving!

World Record Of The Week: World's longest sausage - 59.14 kilometres

Quote Of The Week: "The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made." - Jean Giraudoux

Quote Of The Hari:
"Is there anything more shaming to British people than when you ask a European if they speak English and they say "not really", and then you ask for directions and they say "Certainly. In 500 metres you will see a turnpike - veer a little left and you will see bushels of grass, take the small alley there..." This is their nearly English? My perfect French is "Ou est la gare? Le chien est mort"."

{I want to learn French, if only to understand Frida, singing her chansons. No, scrub that - i want to 'pick up' French - that implies less effort :D }

------------------------------------------------------ non-contemporary stuff

'Jimmy Carr - Paralympics'
What does the "para-" in "paralympics" stand for?

Via the gorgeous Frida Boccara (see 'Drink Of The Week: Le Whisky De Papa') i have discovered Jacques Brel (a belgian singer-songwriter, some of whose songs she sung) one of which being this:
'Les Bigotes (The Bigoted)'
It satirises Religious adherence, way back in the early 60s, in a way that's more familiar of Roy Zimmerman or Tim Minchin, today! And he was such a great performer :)

"In Life, there are many hundreds of common experiences, feelings, situations and even objects which we all know and recognize, but for which no words exist.
On the other hand, the world is littered with thousands of spare words which spend their time doing nothing but loafing about on signposts pointing at places.
Our job, as wee see it, is to get these words down off the signposts and into the mouths of babes and sucklings and so on, where they can start earning their keep in everyday conversation and make a more positive contribution to society."
'The Meaning of Liff'

'The Universe Is Awesome' - Eddie Scott

Did you know:

LOL: A man riding a woman ;-)

Bloody good foam!

The end was near, and then we missed it:

Winter-themed cartoons:

I never wanted to believe...
{I think i first heard Milton Jones tell this one -- Milton Jones - the world's funniest Milton}

My heritage?..

Russian dolls...

{You don't need to learn French, for this one}

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

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